Lately

Nothing has been really happening. I've discovered that I am just as unpopular on the internet as I am in reality. Wonderful news.

Dance has been swell. I'm always worried I am not good enough.'Tis the life of a starving artist: always hungry for perfection and validation.

I'm listening to this mix at the moment. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it yet... But I think I dig it.

So whats new, people? Whats new with all of you?

I can see myself being with you. It would be simple. Easy as breathing, nothing forced.
I am your fun buddy, and you are the practical love of my life. Isnt this just great.

I'd like to throw this out there: fuck everything and everyone. I cant wait to leave. And be alone.

I wish I could be with you for the rest of my existence.

Why cant the personal life be left PERSONAL? What I do with myself, with other people is none of your business. And I'll be damned if it affects you.

watch this now. for your own sake.

"Because I feel like no one gets me, and when someone does I hate it. Because I want to be special enough for no one to understand."

"Welcome to the life of a night owl."

I wish I was famous. Like in a band or something really big. Then I could do exactly what I want. My insanity would turn into normalcy.

notes

You're only the love of my non-existent life. Don't worry if you break my heart.

Dreams

I had a dream I was at the beach. I got stung by a jellyfish that looked more like a Pokemon than anything. In this dream, I was apparently allergic to them. So, I kept looking around and begging people to urinate on the wound for me, but no one would. People would hardly look at me. Somehow, the sting brought on paranoia and blindness. I could barely see; I saw in highlights: flashes of reality. So I started to run along the coast, slowly finding myself ankle, then calf, then knee and waist deep in water. Then I was attacked in a swarm of mutated looking jellyfish. Searing pain all through out my body woke me up. I burned. I felt it after I opened my eyes.

I wonder why no one saved me...

just whatever

There are only some things that can make me completely happy no matter what.

1.) 

and other musicians

2.)

3.)

and likewise nature

4.) you.

babble

Prom was good. I'm the talk of the school. I'm still deciding if thats a good thing or not.
I got my bangs cut. yayz.
I love you.
Everytime I think of you, I think of what we could have had.
I cant imagine myself happy with anyone. I can only imagine myself alone. I seem happy. But I often delude myself.
I want to touch skin.
I want to feel you.
I wish you werent so far away, so separated impossibly.
Damn time.
Age is just a number.
But you are the one person I dont think I could ever have in my arms.

Oh, do I love you.
You. You unknown, sick, invisible bastard.
I'm waiting for you.
Why wont you show up??

Real Words With Friends.

"ANYWAY.

YOU'RE NOT AN IDIOT.

AND EVEN IF YOU ARE: THOSE WHO MIND DONT MATTER, AND THOSE WHO MATTER TRULY DONT MIND.

As long as you've got people who love you, who gives a flying fuck about anyone else."

MELISHA! :)

Melisha Singh, you are the greatest! I dont even know what my surprise is, and no matter what it is or it isnt, I am so appreciative of your kind and impossibly large heart. Thank you so much for the apparent gift that is to come!

Free Thought and his fellow Associates.

And then, in a bright and brilliant flash, everything was over. I never saw nor smelled, neither touched nor tasted anything ever again. And when the bright and brilliant flash flashed by my eyes: the very portal of my ocular being, I couldnt wait to see again. To sniff, to feel, to eat. In a flash, I was gone. And in a flash, I wanted to be back again, home alone, in my bed, naked; with only the light of the polluted stars to keep me sane.

The clearest light I see is the light outside my house, hovering over me, watching me while I dress. Its tall, erect, like a steel rod. It blots out the sun, it blots out my sky. Towers of technology tower over me. I cower under them, like a worker ant below the shadow of an omniscient foot of God given self-righteousness.

I see the soundless storm brewing outside my wide eyed windows.
The sky is quiet. Noiselessness echoes off noiselessness. The trees sway like rocks.
Fog encased the morning sun, blotting out the light.
Dew upon blades of grass sat silent and still like panes of glass, waiting for the climax.

New Distraction!

How silly: I started a tumblr. What a waste of my time...

Go here. Its basically another off shoot; another limb; an extension of myself. More ways to distract the brain from previous priorities.

 

by the way, lolcats feed my soul. 

kthxbai

I'm afraid to really be myself. Even on a website that no one reads. How pathetic.

Listen to this.

I want you to FEEL.

What ever happened to writing letters? I want to write you a letter. I want you to feel surprised. I want you to feel loved. Adored. Cherished. I want you to feel unique. I want you to feel traditional. I want you to feel unconventional. I want you to feel like you're not being swept away with the tides of technology. I want you to feel wanted. I just want you to feel.

I want you to feel everything I would want to feel.