Many things are quickly coming to an end. Another season of dance has come and gone; it almost seems surreal to think that just this year we performed the full length Swan Lake (and then some...). With the close of our season, comes the end of careers. Many friends and colleagues will be departing: travelling, going to college, dancing elsewhere... Its always impossibly difficult to lose friends to Fate, but two people's absences hit me especially hard. I have been dancing with my good friends Liana and Kylie since I was in the sixth grade. What is that, 7 years? They are pure inspiration. Pure kindness. And beauty. And love. And I don't know how I will honestly do without them. I've always been by their sides, whether it was for dance or school or girl scouts or something; anything. But now? Nothing. And when that curtain fell for the last time for them, I sobbed. I bawled. Grossly. I will miss those girls, their will power, determination, perseverance, strength, and happiness for many years to come. But I know for a clear fact that they will both lead joyous and full lives, filled to the brim with laughs, smiles, and memories.
Time flies, doesn't it?
I was eating a delicious butterscotch candy a couple days ago. Suddenly, the taste threw me back into the bright white kitchen of my grandparent's house in Sun City. Memories of it flooded my mind, and I haven't really been able to escape them. The knocking thud of the swiveling bar chairs against the counter, the scolding that always followed afterwards, the frozen cashews in the freezer, the purses that were kept in the washing room attached to the kitchen, the mints stashed in my grandmother's slouchy bag that I cherished greedily, the transparent jar filled with golden yellow cellophane wrapped butterscotch candies that sat temptingly by the stove-- the stove I don't remember ever being used. But I remember the sweets.
Its funny, isn't it, what you don't know you actually remember until you're launched into the recesses of your brain. My grandparents are dead now. And I don't know why but I'm crying like a very small child just typing this. I just hope that if there is a heaven, they are looking down and are proud of their daughters and their daughter's children. I guess I never realized just how much I miss them. Not even them personally really, but just miss having grandparents at all.
I feel like I am the only one sticking around. People are moving on all around me, whether it be permanently or temporarily, everyone is leaving. And I just feel like I'm rotting as I stand here, silent and still.
