I love you. So much.

I love you. So much. What if I told you nothing. What if I whispered nothing to you. Those long nights filled with nothing but silence; nothing but the occasional car alarm. I cant tell if it would kill me or make me stronger. Everything is different, yet I'm still the same. I knew myself, I knew what I now know. Now, I'm just affirmed.

I knew, that I'll never know everything. I know that I knew I was right.

I love you. So much. I don't want to die. Ever. I wont miss you. Not my family. Maybe a lover. But not my family nor my friends. No, I recant my statement. Not a lover either. Life would move on. I would evolve. I wouldn't miss a beat. I would live off of the life of others. Their youth, livelihood, their love, their thirst for making something out of themselves. I would feed off of them. Suck them dry. I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid to stop living. I'm afraid I wont have enough time to really live, and not just survive another after another after another decade. I dont care who I leave behind. On the other hand, I would bite the bullet for anyone; a complete stranger, if thats what it came down to.

I love you. So much. The things we told each other. The words shared. Hard wood floors. White cotton bed. Cool breeze through the room, caressing the curtains. I could never go back to you, my almost lover. You deserve more than the issues presented to you. I'm sorry. I wish someone could appreciate you as much as I did. Women might adore you. Or love you. Or want you. But to understand you. To appreciate your flaws? I hope you find that.

I love you. So much. Cant you just get it? Why dont you get it???

I love you. So much. But I cant wait to leave and never look back. I dont care about you. I dont care about any of you. I feel like you just dont get it.

The saddest part is, I'm talking to myself.