School is school. Whenever people ask me "How was school?", I always find myself replying "...educational." because that's basically all I get out of it. As my social life dwindles to the tiniest of figures, I realize that I don't care. I've got what I need in my life, and that's all I'm concerned about. I cant wait until I graduate so I can just stop fussing and worrying about all this pointless crap that will fall off our shoulders the second we step on that stage to graduate. And when I do, I'm never looking back.
Too bad that isn't for another year and an effing half...
*However, I had a wonderful day in Psychology class, as usual. Psych peeps! You know who you are!!
Speaking of nothing, dance is my best friend and my worst enemy. God, I cant even imagine the words to describe the passion and love and hate I have for dance. Dance is the only thing that matters to me; it will always be my number one priority. But its times like these when I realize just how much I kind of hate myself. Really. Dance, or specifically ballet, is quite possibly the absolute worst thing for me. I have the self esteem of a dirt worm. No, I have the self esteem of dirt itself. So being thrust in front of a mirror lined room, constantly staring at my own inadequacies of the body and the art form I hold so dearly to my heart, but cant quite manage to perfect, hurts more than one could dream. I'm so afraid I wont be able to dance as a profession for the rest of my days as a dancer. I'm terrified what I'll do with myself. I mean, think about it. I've made no real connections. I'm not the most intelligent. My grades are no where near superior. I'm a genetic dead end... I just want to be happy in my life, today and the day that follows. And the only option I can think of to obtain such happiness is through dance. And if I suck, well. Than that doesn't leave me many option.
Occupation/Lifelong career goals:
(in no particular order, except number one)
- Professional dancer
- English something (major, teacher, writer...)
- Photographer
- Archaeologist
Feasible? Who knows...
And to top it all off, I had a migraine today. Joy.
Hopefully, my tomorrow will be better. I mean, heck, it is my birthday after all...!
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